Katerina is drinking hand lotion,
Ball bearings, cream, lox, and green cheese:
She whips it up into a potion.
She says it's a cure for her fleas.

Oh!
Greenback! dish rack!
Katerina was never a sensible cat!
Sling-back! Roof rack!
She's never a sensible cat!

Katerina is studying Spanish,
She's reading Garcia-Marquez.
She tries to converse with the Amish,
But none of them knows what she says.

Oh!
Steinway! Chardonnay!
Katerian will never get tenure this way!
Ben Gay! Oil of Olay!
She'll never get tenure this way!