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gracie's world 2000


Welcome to Gracie's World, November 2000

Wednesday, November 1

who's that walkin' by your head?
the guy with the little yellow footies?
who's that peckin' at the crumbs of bread?
and giving everybody his cooties?

he's Elvis! the pine siskin!
he's a very winsome little bird
he's Elvis! the pine siskin!
not much bigger than a beagle turd

it's Elvis! the pine siskin!
he's Elvis! the pine siskin!
can't stop to chat 'cause he's busy friskin'

oh, be careful how you treat him
'cause if you go and eat him
he'll give you all kinds of worms

he's Elvis.....the....pine.....sis.....kin.....!

Thursday, November 2
That Elvis the Pine Siskin song is sticking in my head and I can't get that song outta my head! Plus everybody at school also on the playground also on the bus, they all are singing that song! Even the bus driver, who is actually a moose and not an elk as I once thought, he sings that song!

That's because it is a really really good song!


Friday, November 3
See, Elvis the Pine Siskin, he is this little bird, see. With a small head. He is very bouncy!

He has these rollicking adventures and they always end with a Life Lesson.


Saturday, November 4
Every single night all week long we hurry to finish our reading and our sums before 7:05 p.m. because at 7:05 p.m. that Elvis song it cranks up and we go running to the TV! We line up on the couch and we bounce up and down and we weave back and forth and bounce on the sofa and we sing along with that song! Snooples and Chessie, they made up these really cute hand motions to go with the song and they are so cute when they do their hand motions in unison at the same time!

So now we do the hand motions too! There's one part where we all flap our arms like we've got these wings!

All the while right there on the TV there's Elvis hopping down the railroad track with his little bundle of Worldly Goods and he's wearing his little striped railroad cap! His Worldly Goods they are tied to a stick propped over his shoulder because that is how Pine Siskins travel!

Elvis, he's hopping right towards us with this big grin! Pretty soon he fills the whole TV screen and all you can see is his teeth! It is Very Realistic!

Then Elvis, he does this really cute dance where he bounces up and down and he kicks his legs real high in the air. He's grinning all the time! We jump up from the sofa and we do the dance too!

Sunday, November 5
Last night Elvis was about some ants dragging this dead catterpillar all over the place on this highway median. It was funny but also sad! It had a surprise ending!

Monday, November 6
Last night Elvis the Pine Siskin was about these sparrows looking for some nest sticks! They kept hopping all over the place looking for some nest sticks! Elvis, he helped them find some nest sticks!

We were laughing so hard! Ben, he kept slapping his knees and he started snorting and could not stop!

Tuesday, November 7
Elvis the Pine Siskin was really really good last night! Also hilarious!

This episode, it was called Visiting the Chickens. There was this farm, and some chickens eating seeds. One chicken sort of had a fluffy head. It was so hilarious! Snooples and Chessie giggled into their paws!

Wednesday, November 8
Last night Elvis the Pine Siskin was so hilarious! It was about these Ground Hogs! But they were actually Wood Chucks! It was sort of surreal! Then there was this duck!

Anyways, it was so funny!

Monday, November 13
Pia, she has started a new retero-grunge band they are called Feral Colony.

Pia she wears these tight t-shirts with spangles. Sometimes she wears her lucky Stevie Ray Vaughan shirt which she never washes on account of that would wash all the luck out.

Feral Colony sings this song called Rabies Babies and Pia she wears these bell bottoms with cuffs which look like they dragged through a thousand litterboxes!

Their guitar player's name is Edge and their bass player his name is Flea. Who ever heard of musicians called Edge and Flea? It is dumb.

One good thing though: NO TAMBOURINES.

Tuesday, November 14
Pia is the lead singer in Feral Colony. That's because she is the only singer. Pia, she sort of yells instead of actually singing and she looks like she is going to swallow that microphone right down her throat.

The other musicians they just play their instruments and go "buh buh buh" sometimes.

Pia, she spikes up her head fur with melted crayons of all different colors. She has to keep buying Snooples and Chessie new crayons.

Wednesday, November 15
Last night when we were doing the Elvis the Pine Siskin dance, Ben, he kicked too high and he kicked over Dad's Miss Piggy lamp. The lamp got busted and the snout is gone.

Thursday, November 16
Today on the playground Snooples and Chessie were jumping rope and they were chanting this jump rope poem!

One Siskin! Two Siskins! Three Siskins! Four!
Eat another Siskin and you puke on the floor!

Friday, November 17
Today in school we learned the Story of Thanksgiving. Weakie showed us some pitchers of Cats of the Olden Days. They came to America on ships and their cat carriers were made of rickety slabs.

They had to put up with a lot of fleas. They ate rats on the ship, kidneys and all because back then you couldn't waste a kidney.

Then they Arrived in America and the Mountain Lions they taught those cats how to hunt grouse. There was this one famous Mountain Lion named Fluffy. This was years ago.


Saturday, November 18
Weakie says we must always be thankful for Fluffy the Mountain Lion on account of he taught us cats to hunt grouse and that's what Thanks Giving is all about. There's this song about Fluffy that goes like this:

O' Fluffy was a Mountain Lion
A Mountain Lion
A Mountain Lion
O' Fluffy was a Mountain Lion
O' Derry Derry Oh!

Songs back then were really lame. I am not sure why.


Sunday, November 19
Last night Mom caught Chessie melting crayons on the cook stove and Chessie got scolded. So I made Chessie this Pine Siskin doll out of a sock.

Monday, November 20
Elvis the Pine Siskin was so sad last night! This harmonica, it got lost!

But Elvis he sang this really good song about a train and stuff!

Tuesday, November 21
Today in school I raised my paw and I asked Weakie why songs of the Olden Days are so lame.

Weakie says it is because cats back then were too busy running away from Puritans, who had some kind of thing against cats.



Wednesday, November 22
Today we had a Thanks Giving party at school! Feral Colony they gave an outdoor concert in the gymnasium and there was a table with a big cardboard turkey and milk and cookies!

Ben, he got cider up his nose! It was so funny!

Feral Colony, they were not allowed to sing any songs about Rabies! Plus, Pia was not allowed to wear earrings or spangles or anything spangly. Edge and Flea they had to wear shirts!

We got to take off our shoes and dance in our sock feet!


Thursday, November 23
It is Thanks Giving Day and it is snowing and you are supposed to be thankful for a bunch of things.

Snooples and Chessie they are clawing little pitchers of snowmen in the frost on the windows.

Nini is deep frying a whole deer in her deer fryer. It is stuffed with some potatoes.

Pia is painting her nails Snuffle Me Asunder and she has got her ear phones on but you can hear the songs anyway right through her ear phones and it is that band called Ween.

Ben is meditating and he is buzzing.

Anyways today is Thanks Giving Day and I am very thankful for Mom because she sometimes gives us Potato Chips. Also I am thankful for Dad who is back from Ben's Native Land even though he forgot Ben's rubber smew, which is tragic.

Also I am thankful for Snooples and Chessie on account of they are so cute and they smell like little twigs.

Also I am thankful for Ben on account of his great entertainment value.

But most of all, I am thankful for Elvis the Pine Siskin for helping sparrows get some nest sticks and for finding everybody's harmonicas.

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