Monday, March 5
Dad is practicing his Congo Drums. It is most thunderous in my ears!
Mom is upstairs cleaning up 5 piles of vommitted hairballs which are all in a row on the kitchen floor. Those vommitted hairballs, they have Weakie's name written all over them if you ask me.
Mom is singing along with Dad's congo drums.
She is singing Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport.
Tuesday, March 6
Dad, he is banging on his Congo Drums and he is rattling this Wooden Toad.
Also Dad is whanging on these scary sounding Bells!
Those Bells, they sound just like a whole large fleet of Trailways Buses loaded up with busted Revere Wares and rolling down over a embankment into a gigantic meteor crater out in Utah or something of that nature.
Those Bells, they are supposed to WAKE THE DEAD over in Africa somewheres.
Wednesday, March 7
I am concerned about those African Dead Guys waking up all over the place over in Africa and walking around everywheres in their pajamas or whatever.
However, Nini says there is nothing to be concerned about unless one has done something to OFFEND THEM.
Thursday, March 8
Those African Dead Guys in pajamas I think they are awake now.
On account of Dad keeps playing those damned Bells!
Somebody oughta tell Dad to stop playing those Bells!
I think I will go feed a pork roast to my Black Rat Snake.
Friday, March 9
It is those Bells again.
I have this pinchy headache right between my ears. Why can't Dad play the Pan Floot like normal Dads?
Saturday, March 10
Today in school we had a Saint Patricks Day celebration and we ate some cereal.
Snooples did this special potato dance.
Also, those crows, they performed this Irish song which goes something like this:
Musha rig dum rigga dingle
Whacko the dairy o
Whacko the dairy o
There's whiskey in the jar.
Nobody knew what the hell it meant!
Sunday, March 11
Bufo is still asleep on account of it's winter and toads sleep.
Nini is teaching me to knitt and I am knitteling him a nice sweater of some mohair which is camel's fur.
Monday, March 12
I just thought of something.
What if those African Dead Guys, they get really mad at me for busting up The Continent of Africa on the school globe at school that time when I knocked it right off the heat register with the Dodge Ball, which was totally by accident?
Tuesday, March 13
It is really, really, really late at night and Chickenloaf is hummming Marzy Doats in her sleep once again, plus I can't sleep!
On account of I keep thinking about those African Dead Guys in their pajamas and probably bare feet which are perhaps very dusty!
It is 7 p.m.at night! And I have a Big Day at school tomorrow!
Wednesday, March 14
Today in Show And Tell I held up the nice red Turtle Neck Sweater which I am knitteling for my Black Rat Snake. It is currently five feet long. He will not be able to use the sleeves.
Also I am knitteling a matching scarf.
Also I now have a really good name for my Black Rat Snake. I have given this a great deal of thought. I am going to call him Blackie.
Also I fell asleep in Macroeconomics Class.
Thursday, March 15
Today I measured Blackie so I know how long to make his sweater, he is 8 feet long. Also very plump. I must keep him in the cedar chest now amongst the blankets.
Blackie eats 1 pork roast per week!
Friday, March 15
Oh great now Dad is playing this contraption called a TALKING DRUM!
This TALKING DRUM, it is like this weirdo cell phone that pages All African Dead Guys Everywhere!!!
Dad might as well go out and stand in the yard and yell
HEY ALL YOU AFRICAN DEAD GUYS COME ON OVER TO MY PLACE AND ENJOY EATING GRACIE'S LIVER!
Friday, March 15
Wait that was yesterdays date. Now I am all screwed up!
Saturday, March 15
Whenever Ben is upset on account of nobody understood his Valentine which he made last month which is a small plastic Winnie the Poo inside of a sealed mayonnaise jar full of Mountain Doo which he calls his Piddle Pooh.
I don't have time for this I have problems of my own!
Friday, March 16
Dear African Dead Guys or Whoever:
extremelyreally sorry about that globe. I will not bust up The Continent of Africa ever again if I can help it. It was an unfortunate mishap.
Grace De La Rue
Saturday, March 17
So Snooples, yesterday she is drawing these very cute little Calculus equations with her little claw in the frost all over the livingroom window, and all the sudden Snooples, she gets all happy and she squeaks:
Oh, look! It's one of the African Dead Guys and he is approaching the house!
Me, I just about have fifteen cows apiece!
I go scrambling up to the window and I peer out the window but it is just the meter reader guy and he does not even have bare feet but instead rather large blue rubber boots that crunch acrost the snow.
Whew that was a close call!!!
Monday, March 19
Snooples brought her ink pen collection today for Show and Tell. She has this really nice ink pen collection! She has both of Dad's Watermans also Mom's Watermans! There's this black pen and it says U.S. GOVERNMENT.
Tuesday, March 20
Today we crawled and crawled everywheres all around on the classroom floor all morning looking for Snooples inkpen which says
MAD MAN DEWY'S CHEVROLET
ELMIRA, NEW YORK
It is yellow plus it glows in the dark if you stick it near a hot lightbulb for a really long time.
It got lost!
Wednesday, March 21
Snooples pen is still gone somewheres!
Mom gave Snooples Dads Mont Blanc but Snooples is still dribbling big tears onto the supper table!
On account of that pen was One of a Kind!
Thursday, March 22
Last night I dreamed about the AFRICAN DEAD.
Well, actually just this one African Dead Guy.
He was wearing these flannel pajamas with little blue airplanes all over them and he was not barefoot with dusty feet as I feared but rather he was wearing some nice fluffy white slippers.
He was leading with a rope this really nice Jersey cow!
Friday, March 23
Last night I dreamed about that Dead African Guy and his cow once again! He was wearing a nice flannel night gown with some parrots all over it plus a nice ruffle at the bottom.
This African Dead Guy, he says to me, he says this Very Mysterious Thing. He says,
THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT.
Saturday, March 24
Today we were once again crawling all around on the classroom floor looking for that ink pen and then Joey Binks, he says LET'S BE SCIENTIFIC, PEOPLE.
That is sooooo Joey Binks.
Anyways Joey Binks, he turns out the lights and Viola! There's this thing glowing way off in the distance over at the far end of the classroom!
But it was not Snooples pen it was mayonnaise glowing on a old piece of Wonder Bread.
Wednesday, March 28
Last night I dreamed about that African Dead Guy and his cow once again! This time he was wearing these pajamas with ladybugs all over them!
He's pretty nice!
This Dead African Guy, he says he knows where Snooples pen is! He says to me, he says,
LOOK TO THE EAST.
Thursday, March 29
Today we found Snooples pen it was glued to Chessies Let's Clean up the Planet! collage which was displayed and hanging over on the east wall of the classroom! Chessie she drew this Map of the World and she glued junk all over it! Snooples inkpen it was glued over top of China!
Snooples she hugged her ink pen and then she drew this happy picture:
Saturday, March 31
It is snowing and Chickenloaf is outside making snowbats in the snow.
I guess I will find my mittins and go outside and play in the snow.