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gracie's world 2001


Welcome to Gracie's World, April 2001

"Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Summer surprised us, coming over the Starnbergersee
With a shower of rain; we stopped in the colonnade
And went on in sunlight, into the Hofgarten
And drank coffee, and talked for an hour."
~ T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

"little fat Nini loves gourmet food
eats live lizards even though it's rude
had some welsh rabbit and rare sirloin
up jumped the rabbit
and Boing! Boing! Boing!"

~ traditional Nini song


Sunday, April 1, 1832

The guns are silent today. Poignant strains of the Marsellaise behind the city walls. Triumphant? Lachrymose? One cannot say.

Our group of Resistants has dwindled to four Cats, one small pigeon, and our faithfull Fiedeau, who continues to serve as our chief spy although he has but one tattered ear and has lost three toes to the Lieutenant's sabre. In return Fiedeau piddled on the leg of this same Lieutenant's trousers.

And so, our spirits remain high.

Monday, April 2, 1832

We have moved operations from the hollow Elephant statue in the large gardens near the centre of the city, due to an over-infestation of rats and small children. Now safely ensconced in the ancient Bell Tower on
Rue des Escargots, we monitor the ingress and egress of soldiers and citizens with our telescope mounted atop Fritz, who has but three legs and serves as a useful tripod.

Our Faithfull Fiedeau

Saturday, April 3, 1915

Today, disguised as a Franciscan Nun, I delivered baked potatoes, 'Smores, fat loaves of Pumpernickel, and handwritten copies of my recent poems to the kindly Soldiers along the Front. In return they have provided me with a most excellent Guernsey Cow.

Sunday, April 4, 1915

Cannot write but a few lines. Am leading Cow through the woods.

Thursday, April 5
Today I ate noodles! They're pretty good! Pia and I got those noodles out of the pantry and we prepared them with some butter and also some parsley.Noodles, they have a entirely different mouth feel, you know? Not at all like liver or chicken as I might have expected.Pia says they are even better when they are cooked!Friday, April 6
Mom and I are preparing Easter Baskets for Snooples and Chessie and everybody!In Snooples Easter Basket I put some turkey slices, plus some Candy Peeps:Plus three pairs of new red tights, on account of Snooples tights have no knees whatsoever. In Chessies Easter Basket I put The Velveteen Rabbit, some raw eggs still inside of their shells along with a little drinking straw, plus a little yellow patent leather purse. Also some Candy Peeps.Mom says those Candy Peeps are not a good idea. Saturday, April 7
I forgot to say that we are studying an extremely dumb poem at school. It is called The Waste Land. Who knows what it is about!It is badly in need of tightening. I mean this guy, he mumbles all over the place in about 180 different languages about sleds and rats and poker games and not being Russian and the desolate sea and stuff! Like anybody on Earth cares, jeez!Sunday, April 8
My PawPilot got peed on so now it's dead.

Friday, April 9, 1915

Disguised as peasants, the Cow and I have managed to slip through 22 checkpoints. However, am oncerned about transporting Cow across river.

Saturday, April 10, 1915

Managed to cross Danube with cow disguised as small house boat. When questioned, insisted that I was Anaïs Nin. Gave out autograph freely.


Tuesday, April 11, 1775

Fluffy, Stinky, and I continue to tend the wounded squirrels in our little makeshift Hospital in the Badger's Hole.

Alas, this will soon change, as Fido arrived at dawn this day, galloping up on Magnolia. Fido's cap was torn and his nose scratched, his large, blocky, brown head bandaged -- a most sorrowful wound, for now he has only one ear and that one rather shredded.

Fido has informed us that we must move the hospital three miles to the west to a large chestnut Stump. How I dread moving the squirrels!

Thursday, April 12
Today in Macroeconomics Class we learned this awesome new dance! It is called the Dead Cat Bounce! Everybody's doing the Dead Cat Bounce! See, one kid has to put a record on the record player and then everybody stands on all fours with their claws or their hoofs extended and their tails poofed out and then the music begins and you spring into the air! You spring and you spring all over the place and you land every which way, and then the kid makes the record stop all the sudden!Then you have to land flat like you are dead! Then you lay there like you are stone dead until somebody yells "Dead Cat Bounce!" and the record starts up again! Then you have to bounce up in the air really fast and spring all over the place on your claws or hoofs once again! The last one to bounce has to be the one playing the record!Friday, April 13
Today in Physics Class, Joey Binks demonstrated what happens if you place a Candy Peep inside a vacuum and suck all the air out.It explodes!That was good fun.

Friday, April 14, 1912

Much inconvenience late this evening, as ship went down. Fortunately had Water Wings, so swam rest of way. Lovely pre-jazz scene emerging in New York!

Sunday, April 15
Today is Easter Day! We all got some Easter Baskets! Chickenloaf got some eggs! Also a pink hand knitted sweater with some sparkles which I personally knitted! Pia got some eggs! She sold them!I got some eggs! Plus a book by Tolstoy!Ben got one gigantic ostrich egg! He was speechless!


Monday, April 16
Chessie, she has taken every one of her Candy Peeps out of the cellophane wrappers and she licked those peeps and she stuck a whole bunch of them all over the television set. Tuesday, April 17
Chessie is licking Candy Peeps and she is sticking them all over the house. I have found my toad Bufo studded with Candy Peeps. Bufo, he is glum.


Tuesday April 18, 1775

Fido has lost his other ear to a blunderbuss and is beginning to appear rather human.

Wednesday, April 19, 1775

Moved the wounded Squirrels today in rattly little carts. Sang battle hymns all the way to cheer them.

At daybreak Fido arrived with large bundle of Letters, one of which is from Dear Father. Father is sending each of us Stocking Hats and matching Mittens, and myself a Large Orchestral Harp to aid in cheering the Squirrels.

Also received missive from General Washington, who most considerately inquires after the dismal state of our Boots.

I fear the news is not good in that regard.

Thursday, April 20, 1775

Buried poor Boots today in full ceremony.

Saturday, April 21
This morning Dad found his truck stuck all over with Candy Peeps.



Saturday, April 22, 1780

Was hunting stags with PhyDough this afternoon, when a messenger galloped up, bearing urgent Letter from Dear Father, who inquires as to whether I am still practicing my Autoharp.

Must write immediately and tell him about Wolfgang.

Tuesday, April 23, 1901

Gave M——— much needed advice as we played extended poker game this evening. M——— will proceed with importing small, plump horses from France, as originally planned.

M——— is darling dumpling man. Would make fine Cat. Minor drawback However——smokes cigars which smell like Damp Goats.

Wednesday, April 24, 1901

Had a fine time at White House rumpus despite overabundance of dignitaries and small children. Difficult to say which is worse.

The President, Tom Quarts, and Slippers appeared at dinner quite dashing in matching cummerbunds. Reminisced at great length with Tom Quartz regarding hunting adventures. Was touched that Emily Spinach has kept gift of African Cow Mask all these years!

However, Josiah and gang of Raccoons wrecked the lovely Sheet Cake.

Friday, April 25, 1902

Visited elderly cliff-dwelling Hedgehog today. Has own laundry business.

Life lesson for us all.

Thursday, April 26
Pia and I found Nini's old diaries up in the attic! Nini's hand writing is very loopy and they are all written in old fashioned ink pens! They are hilarious! Also moldy!Ben does not know this: Today Ben had a Candy Peep stuck to the back of his head all day.
Sunday, April 27, 1902

Have assisted in saving small male kitten from certain pudding disaster.

Must go now and wash paws.

Thor's Day, April 28, 1583

Took exquisite walk with Phylldeault thru ruins with group of highly educated civet cats. Discussed Pi.

Had little cakes at three o'clock.

Saturday, April 29, 1978

Stellar evening at White House Birthday Party. Danced with Fiedoh until 5 a.m. Grits waxed whiskers for event. Misty Malarky Ying Yang wore winsome Rabbit Fur-Trimmed Outfit with matching Rabbit Fur Mittens in manner of Jackie Onassis.

Monday, April 30
Today in Calculator Class I could not get my calculator to work. Then I opened up the little place where you stick the battery. There was a Candy Peep stuffed in there.Candy Peeps. They are a pain in the ass!



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