April 1, 2005
Dear Muffin,
That Nissan Pickup truck which dropped from the sky. The one which is parked out in the desert nearby where you are at. I believe that is Dads truck.
Anyways, I am pretty sure that is Dads truck.
Yours Truly,
Gracie
April 3, 2005
Dear Muffin,
That truck, if it has a bumper sticker on the backend which says Visualize Using Your Turning Signal then that is Dads truck.
Yours Truly,
Gracie
April 5, 2005
Muffin,
Anyways even if that is not Dads truck, those old Nissan trucks, they are pretty good trucks.
Yours,
Gracie
April 7, 2005
Muffin:
Also check the glove compartment. If the glove compartment is full of little rubber farm animals that is definitely Dads truck.
Yours Truly,
Gracie
April 9, 2005
Dear Muffin;
You will be pleased to know that I recieved a A+ on the clay model of a cows glandular system. This is the cows glandualr system which I constructed out of clay. For Gross Disgusting Anatomy Class.
That cows glandular system. It has a little train set running all around it and through it and over top of it. With little trees and bridges. You can switch trains near the spleen.
That is why my clay model of a cows glandular system recieved a A+. On account of you can switch trains near the spleen.
Gracie
April 11, 2005
Dear Muffin;
Charlie, he teaches that Gross Disgusting Anatomy class. Charlie, he teaches all the sciences classes at our school.
On account of Charlie, he is a large animal veterinarian and has actually birthed cows. Which you can't say about most science teachers.
Us kids, we are required to address Charlie as DR. MUZZLEWHITE. That is during the hours in which we are matriculating within the classroom.
That there is Weakie's rule. Charlie, he does not care.
Yours,
Gracie
April 13, 2005
Muffin,
Charlie, he went to the University of Pennsylvania. That is a pretty good school.
Anyways, you ought to talk to Charlie sometime.
Yours Truly,
Gracie
April 14
The Gateway Soup Kitchen and Halfway House for Homely Dogs, it is a wet and draggled cardboard mess.
No one can even find the cooking pots.
April 15
The Tooney Brothers, they are supervising the reconstruction of the Gateway Soup Kitchen and Halfway House for Homely Dogs. A crew of young Blue Tick Hounds, they are hammering together the new frame.
Blue Tick Hounds, they are excellent carpenters.
April 17
Observing with L.L. Bean binoculars the reconstruction of the Gateway Soup Kitchen and Halfway House for Homely Dogs.
Snooples and Chessie and Chickenloaf and Ben, they are dragging the sodden cardboard away.
Nini is assiduously scrubbing the cookpots.
The Tooney Brothers, they are observing. They are standing in a row and they are wearing matching woolen sweaters the color of clams.
Together now, Lads! Raise high the roofbeam!
Frankie Tooney is glowing happily and is smoking a pipe. The pipe smoke is wreathing around the shovel cap upon Frankie Tooney's head.
April 18
Observing activities in the back yard using small telescope.
The Blue Tick Hounds, they are hammering upon the roof of the Gateway Soup Kitchen and Halfway House for Homely Dogs. They are singing I WALK THE LINE. One of the Blue Tick Hounds, he is singing the guitar part.
They are singing it in 4-part harmony. They are hammering the nails in time with the song.
They are pretty good.
April 19
The Blue Tick Hounds, they are singing I'LL GO TO MY GRAVE LOVING YOU and they are building a nice big portch on the front of the Gateway Soup Kitchen and Halfway House for Homely Dogs.
That portch, it will accommodate a lot of rocking chairs.
Snooples is wearing a white painters cap and a white painters shirt and white painters trousers and is standing amongst a collection of paint cans. Snooples is painting the Gateway Soup Kitchen and Halfway House for Homely Dogs a nice Holstein pattern.
Chessie is setting up a row of 19 or 20 anvils in her new blacksmith shop next door.
I wonder where Chessie got those anvils.
Anvils do not come cheap.
April 20
Evening
Observing back yard activities with enormous old fashioned binoculars which I found in Nini's trunk in the attic.
Bufo and Xerxes, they are playing Mozart's EINE KLEINE NACHT MUSIK upon their little Victrola and they are airing out their apartment above the Irish Pub. Bufo and Xerxes, they are fluffing the curtains over the balcony rail.
Bufo is wearing a winsome dust cap.
April 24
Observing back yard activities with pocket spotting scope from Cabella's which I have borrowed from Ben.
Some mice, they are moving into the Pipe Organ. They are coming and going with suitcases the size of Altoids boxes.
That is probably not good.
April 26
Oh my grandfather's clock
Was too tall for the shelf
So it stood 500 years on the floor!Oh my grandfather's clock
Was too tall for the shelf
So it stood 500 years on the floor!
That is very cute. Snooples and Chessie, they are playing in a normal fashion for once. Snooples and Chessie, they are jumping rope and they are singing a time-honored old folk song whilst I study Dense Composition and Inflatable Rhetoric on the West Portch.
Oh it didn't play a song
But it went bing bong bing bong!
And it lost time whenever he snored!
However, that is not exactly how those lyrics are supposed to go.
But it stopped in its tracks
And developed several cracks
When he died in the bed of a whore!
SNOOPLES AND CHESSIE YOU MUST STOP SINGING THAT SONG RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
Oh now what.
Gun shots are being fired in the neighborhood under the Spiraea bushes.
It is the Tooney Brothers plus a Woodchuck.
The Tooney Brothers plus the Woodchuck, they just uncorked a bottle of Dom Perignon. They are celebrating a new Woodchuck Hole. That new Woodchuck Hole, it is next to the pawn shop.
That Woodchuck, he is holding a bouquet of pansies.
That is the 12th woodchuck hole in the neighborhood.
Dad will not be pleased.
April 30, 2005
Muffin,
I am mailing a carburetor for that truck.
Yours,
Gracie
April 31
Raining
Snooples and Chessie, they are sprawled on their stomachs upon the Turkey Rug with their sneakers bouncing in the air. They are playing Scrabble.
CHESSIE BREZEEQUE IS NOT A WORD.
Wait, it is not April anymore it is
